so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
