They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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