so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this will be a night to untag.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
