i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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