she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
