He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
