Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
