I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
