I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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