...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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