Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
