I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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