the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
