No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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