please come you make the beer taste better
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would ride that face into the sunset
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
