if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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