Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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