Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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