if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
