Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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