Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
