tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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