dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
