guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
