We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
