There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
