WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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