I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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