He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
