pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
