At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Life is so much better after having sex.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
