Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
