I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize