HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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