That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
