addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
