Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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