Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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