we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
