BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
