Your face is a jimmy john
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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