Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
