there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
