I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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