Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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