singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
