Farmville is her only friend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize