I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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