Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
