You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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