I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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