You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
