you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
