she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
