There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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