So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
