do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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