Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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