she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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