I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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