the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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