It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
